It's been a while.....sorry about that! I have a bunch of pictures on my phone that I need to get onto my computer so I keep thinking I'll get it done and then post something but it hasn't happened. We have been really busy almost every day! The kids started swim lessons this week and we've been to Disneyland twice this week and several times in the weeks before. We have enjoyed our passes so far. Can't wait for the fall when they aren't blocked anymore.
Grannylou flew out on Thursday and we spent the afternoon/evening at Disneyland. There were a lot of people there (at least according to the number of parking lots that were filled) but the lines weren't very long for the rides that we wanted to ride. The kids made a list of everything they wanted to ride before we went and we rode everything on the list. It was a really good day.
Tomorrow a special little boy is turning 7. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. We are having a swim party at the pool in town and then we'll finish the party in the park with pizza, cupcakes, and presents. He is really excited and having trouble going to sleep. Oh, to be excited about your birthday that you can't sleep. Hope everyone is having a good summer so far.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Memorial Service
I am documenting this for my family in case I ever make a book of my blog. Or I may just print it out and keep for myself along with the other posts I have written regarding my miscarriages. Feel free to read on if you want.
Today I attended an infant memorial service that the hospital hosts for all the babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other reason. I had 7 friends from church go with me to support me which meant a lot to me. I didn't really want to go and haven't for any of my other miscarriages but I felt like I needed the closure this time. I wish that David could have gone with me but it doesn't affect him in the same way. There were 7 or 8 other moms that attended the service also. The service is held at a Memorial Park and Mortuary. It was a beautiful setting with a small pond that had ducks in it and a waterfall beyond the pond. It was a very relaxing place to be and I wish I had pictures of the area. The waterfall is where I focused most of the time. It was very calming. The verse on the front of the program is "I will never forget you. I have carved you on the palm of my hand." Isaiah 49. The service was about 45 minutes and they had a nice welcome, opening prayer, scripture reading and a song before they named the babies and had a rose offering. Obviously we didn't have a name but some of the babies did. Ours was Baby Noland. Many of them (like mine)were lost too early to name. We stood as our name was called and they gave us each a rose. The songs were hard to listen to and now it is all kind of a blur. The 2 songs in English were "Precious Child" and "To Where You Are." There was another song in spanish and I looked at my friend next to me and said thankfully it is because I can't handle another song right now. The final song was "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton. It is very surreal to be sitting in that kind of place and deal with what happened after it has kind of been pushed under the rug and pretty much forgotten by everyone else except me (and the girls that were with me). Oh, I forgot that as we signed in by giving them our baby's name, we also signed a quilt with the name and the date of the loss. Honestly the whole thing just felt weird to me. I guess because this isn't the first time and I have lost track of all the dates of my losses. I just wanted to forget them and when they told me to write the date I couldn't remember so I had to write the day of my d & c instead. How terrible is that? I am going to write them all down somewhere just to have for me and stick it in my wallet. I have it all in a journal but I just don't like to remember the dates. I know most of my due dates and the month and year of the loss but not the exact day.
Anyway, back to the service. They handed out a bookmark with the verse from Isaiah 49 on it and also a Prayer for Women Who Have Miscarried. The prayer is:
Most loving God,
losing a child is devastating.
Bless all women,
who have had a miscarriage.
Comfort them in their loss.
Give them hope.
Bless them with an abundance of love
that as their bodies heal,
so too may their hearts.
Give them the courage to face each new day
in the confidence of your love;
in the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
They also handed out a paper about coping with the emotional aspects of pregnancy loss. I may share some of that on here some day. It has a lot of things that may be helpful in case you ever know someone else that goes through something like this. They don't really want anyone to make it better, just remember and listen. I think the hardest thing is when everyone else forgets or is afraid to talk about it. People have never stopped sending me baby shower invitations or sharing the joy of a new baby, I just guard myself a little more. I don't go to very many baby showers. I usually don't know if I'm going to make it until the day of or the day before and go shopping at the last minute or make something. It's easier that way because I don't worry about it for a week before. I just make the decision and go or just stay home. I have some great friends that are completely understanding and I have only missed a few and most of them were right after a loss. I give myself time to visit someone after having a baby and haven't gone to the hospital to visit anyone. I go when I feel ready. There is more but I will save it for another post.
The last part of the service was the burial of the ashes of all the babies. They have a special place that the mortuary has donated to the hospital. All the babies are cremated and buried together.
I know this was long (if you even made it this far). I wish it was more exciting to read.
Today I attended an infant memorial service that the hospital hosts for all the babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other reason. I had 7 friends from church go with me to support me which meant a lot to me. I didn't really want to go and haven't for any of my other miscarriages but I felt like I needed the closure this time. I wish that David could have gone with me but it doesn't affect him in the same way. There were 7 or 8 other moms that attended the service also. The service is held at a Memorial Park and Mortuary. It was a beautiful setting with a small pond that had ducks in it and a waterfall beyond the pond. It was a very relaxing place to be and I wish I had pictures of the area. The waterfall is where I focused most of the time. It was very calming. The verse on the front of the program is "I will never forget you. I have carved you on the palm of my hand." Isaiah 49. The service was about 45 minutes and they had a nice welcome, opening prayer, scripture reading and a song before they named the babies and had a rose offering. Obviously we didn't have a name but some of the babies did. Ours was Baby Noland. Many of them (like mine)were lost too early to name. We stood as our name was called and they gave us each a rose. The songs were hard to listen to and now it is all kind of a blur. The 2 songs in English were "Precious Child" and "To Where You Are." There was another song in spanish and I looked at my friend next to me and said thankfully it is because I can't handle another song right now. The final song was "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton. It is very surreal to be sitting in that kind of place and deal with what happened after it has kind of been pushed under the rug and pretty much forgotten by everyone else except me (and the girls that were with me). Oh, I forgot that as we signed in by giving them our baby's name, we also signed a quilt with the name and the date of the loss. Honestly the whole thing just felt weird to me. I guess because this isn't the first time and I have lost track of all the dates of my losses. I just wanted to forget them and when they told me to write the date I couldn't remember so I had to write the day of my d & c instead. How terrible is that? I am going to write them all down somewhere just to have for me and stick it in my wallet. I have it all in a journal but I just don't like to remember the dates. I know most of my due dates and the month and year of the loss but not the exact day.
Anyway, back to the service. They handed out a bookmark with the verse from Isaiah 49 on it and also a Prayer for Women Who Have Miscarried. The prayer is:
Most loving God,
losing a child is devastating.
Bless all women,
who have had a miscarriage.
Comfort them in their loss.
Give them hope.
Bless them with an abundance of love
that as their bodies heal,
so too may their hearts.
Give them the courage to face each new day
in the confidence of your love;
in the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
They also handed out a paper about coping with the emotional aspects of pregnancy loss. I may share some of that on here some day. It has a lot of things that may be helpful in case you ever know someone else that goes through something like this. They don't really want anyone to make it better, just remember and listen. I think the hardest thing is when everyone else forgets or is afraid to talk about it. People have never stopped sending me baby shower invitations or sharing the joy of a new baby, I just guard myself a little more. I don't go to very many baby showers. I usually don't know if I'm going to make it until the day of or the day before and go shopping at the last minute or make something. It's easier that way because I don't worry about it for a week before. I just make the decision and go or just stay home. I have some great friends that are completely understanding and I have only missed a few and most of them were right after a loss. I give myself time to visit someone after having a baby and haven't gone to the hospital to visit anyone. I go when I feel ready. There is more but I will save it for another post.
The last part of the service was the burial of the ashes of all the babies. They have a special place that the mortuary has donated to the hospital. All the babies are cremated and buried together.
I know this was long (if you even made it this far). I wish it was more exciting to read.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Retail Therapy
I'm not so much into shopping to feel better. Actually I need a therapist after I go shopping because I always feel guilty for spending the money! We went down the hill to have pictures taken of the kids and I wanted to use my gymboree coupon since they were having a sale. Everything in the store was $13.99 or less. This was a splurge because we usually only get hand me down gymboree clothes. I just can't spend a lot of money on clothes that Grace will get marker on or play outside in and ruin. Anyway, since I had the coupon, I got her a couple outfits. I also got some uniform pieces for the kids for school because they also were on sale at Children's Place. I got each of them 1 shirt and 4 shorts/skirt/capris. I can't believe I am already buying Grace uniforms. Figured I should start early this year since I have to buy for 2! The last 2 years poor Andrew has only had 4 pairs of pants that I had to rotate and keep very clean. Friday was always a relief because he was able to wear jeans or jean shorts. This year I am hoping to buy a little at a time and have more clothes for him so I'm not stressing about whether or not uniforms are clean. Grace on the other hand cannot have 4 pairs of pants. She needs jumpers, skirts, shorts, pants, polo dresses, capris. The list goes on! Have you seen the adorable sweaters and cardigans that she can wear to make her outfit even cuter? Don't tell David just yet, but he may need another job! It's a good thing we have a crappy mall here because I would be in trouble!
The kids pictures turned out awesome! We haven't done sibling pictures since Grace was 2 so it was definitely time! They also did individual shots of the kids for their birthdays. A little late for Grace but at least we got a picture. I'll share the pics as soon as I can. Hope the rest of your week is good!
The kids pictures turned out awesome! We haven't done sibling pictures since Grace was 2 so it was definitely time! They also did individual shots of the kids for their birthdays. A little late for Grace but at least we got a picture. I'll share the pics as soon as I can. Hope the rest of your week is good!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Another Disney Day!
Well, actually California Adventure. We went down yesterday and had a lot of fun! It was kind of a crazy day with getting kicked off a ride and rude people causing Grace to bruise her shin but overall a good day! The first ride we went on (or tried to go on) was Goofy's Flight School. It was a mini roller coaster and Grace started crying and they made us get off the ride which made Andrew cry. I asked if I could put him on as a single rider but the guy said no because he would be riding with strangers. As we were walking away a nice family (or at least they looked nice) offered to let him ride with them and before the guy in charge could protest I shoved Andrew in their cart and it was done. The guy shook his head at me and told me I could wait up the stairs for him to walk out with "strangers." Andrew loved it and I could see him almost the whole time and everything turned out just fine! Here are some pictures from the rest of our day. It's hard to take the kids by myself because they don't like to ride the same rides. Thankfully the next 2 times we go I will have David and then my mom with me so Andrew can ride whatever he wants.
This is the Disney Live on Stage show which I thought my kids were too old for now. They loved it and the bonus was that it now includes "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" which is our new favorite cartoon on Disney Jr. A few weeks ago Papa Wayne brought the kids a movie and it was this particular cartoon. I didn't even know what it was and threw it in the cabinet because the kids didn't really seem that interested in it and then one day Grace asked to watch it and we realized it was by Disney and she has watched and watched and watched the movies (there are 6 on the dvd) and the cartoons that we find on tv.
Driving by himself for the 1st time! You have to be 7 (c'mon, his bday is in 3 weeks). I told him to just tell them he is 7 which he was a little uncomfortable with and rightly so since it is a lie. Yes, I'm that mom and had my child lie to ride something. Anyway, it kind of became funny because 3 different workers asked him how old he was for this same ride. I felt terrible but really, he is so close to being 7 and we couldn't have gone on these bumper cars if we didn't tell them. I know it doesn't make it right but believe me I prayed about it. It was very much a mom guilt moment!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Quick Check In
Just a quick check in. We have been kind of busy this week and I've been trying to clean and clear out all the stuff we have accumulated that we don't need. The kids shredded a LOT of paper for me this week and I finally went through my stacks of magazines. We went to Disneyland on Monday with David, tumbling on Tuesday, T-ball on Wednesday, an appt for Grace and a b-day party on Thursday and today we are home and friends are coming over for a while to play. Grace actually ended up with a fever last night at the party and had it all night. She ended up in bed with us and her little body was so hot. She kept throwing her leg or arm over me and I would wake up and touch her each time to check on her fever. It ended up hitting 103. Poor thing. For now she is fine, just trying to get hydrated after not wanting to eat or drink last night and feeling sick to her stomach. Tonight I have a pampered chef party and I'm trying to be really good and not spend too much extra money so we'll see how that goes. I love their products but I don't really need anything right now. Lots of things I want though! I'll be back soon. Have a great weekend!
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